Thursday, November 4, 2010

Jason's Favorite.

 

 

 

The Love-Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

By T.S. Eliot


Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question. . .                               10
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

  In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

  The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,                               20
And seeing that it was a soft October night
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

  And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;                                30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions
And for a hundred visions and revisions
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

  In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

  And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—                               40
[They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

  For I have known them all already, known them all;
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,                       50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
  So how should I presume?

  And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?                    60
  And how should I presume?

  And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
  And should I then presume?
  And how should I begin?
        .     .     .     .     .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets              70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . .

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
        .     .     .     .     .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep . . . tired . . . or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?                  80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet–and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

  And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,                                             90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all"
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
  Should say, "That is not what I meant at all.
  That is not it, at all."

  And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,                                           100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
  "That is not it at all,
  That is not what I meant, at all."                                          110
        .     .     .     .     .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

  I grow old . . . I grow old . . .                                              120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

  Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

  I do not think they will sing to me.

  I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

  We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown               130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I couldnt get this out of my head today

The Lady of Shalott


On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro' the field the road runs by
To many-tower'd Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott. 

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott. 

By the margin, willow veil'd,
Slide the heavy barges trail'd
By slow horses; and unhail'd
The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott? 

Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott." 

There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott. 

And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott. 

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower'd Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott. 

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott. 

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott. 

The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon'd baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott. 

All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro' the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott. 

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
"Tirra lirra," by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot. 

She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott. 

In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott. 

And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott. 

Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott. 

Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.
For ere she reach'd upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.

Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott. 

Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Zach

   
Young Zach on the right.
 I loved Zach like a brother.

For a while  it was just David, me and Zach it was some of the best times of my life.

I cant admit to myself he is gone, it is this abstract thing that I am still trying to tell myself is a rumor. Its unhealthy but I am not willing go there yet, maybe when when I stop crying...  


I'm sorry, I know a lot of people loved him and are as torn apart as I am.

 Zach died on May 11th 2010, He was a different sort of person. He was carefree and seemed to always be laughing, he loved his friends. He  possessed  a surprisingly big protective streak, something he rarely showed.
 

It is horrible that I never got to say good bye,  There aren't enough words in the world  to express how much I miss him.

Friday, September 24, 2010


Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
If I die before I wake,
I ask the lord my soul to take.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Goldie

She wasn't my best friend yet she saw one day forever ago that I was lost and without hesitation or making me feel bad she point blank put my world in perspective in her Goldie special way.

People like Goldie don't deserve murder and a shallow grave....

Monday, August 9, 2010

what the fuck!

“I find Audrey Hepburn fantastically twee. Twee is whimsy without wit. It is mimsy-mumsy sweetness without any kind of bite. And that’s not for me. She can’t sing and she can’t really act, I’m afraid. I’m sure she was a delightful woman – and perhaps if I had known her I would have enjoyed her acting more, but I don’t and I didn’t, so that’s all there is to it really.”
- Emma Thompson gives her opinion on Audrey Hepburn.

I quite shamelessly stole this quote from Evilbeet.com.
 

I disagree.

Audrey Hepburn is an amazing actress! I am assuming anyone who has seen Roman Holiday will agree. Audrey may not have been a typical leading lady of the time but she did quirky cute better than anyone, i wish I could pull it off like she can. 

I  love and often watch old movies and I see a young Goldie Hawn, in Butterflies Are Free trying to emulate a Holly Golightlyesque character. She influenced actors back then and stilll does.

Not that I have ever heard any one say she sucks before now; but; if anyone has any doubt about whether Audrey Hepburn can act  shut off this blog and immediately go watch The Children's Hour co starring Shirley Mclain..It;s an amazing movie
                                           

♥♥♥
Jessica

P.S. housework related news;  dirty dishes make Jessica want to die!!!    

Sunday, June 6, 2010

One classy lady

Sandra Bullock being all classy and and Sandra Bullock like




Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
            -John F Kennedy In a speech at the White House, 1962

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

could you really do it?

Picture it: you are in your local bar,  you've had a few drinks,  someone inevitably starts a what would you do if...conversation. Almost always someone wants to know what is the absolute limit you would go for a million dollars. Drunkenly you are always willing to go pretty far, i.e. as a girl (yes that makes a difference) would you show your dad a homemade donkey fucking vid starring yourself?  Sober there for real isn't enough money now or ever to make me do that. 

So when I read this I was pretty shocked at the way this convenience store clerk was able to steal a million dollars from 67 year old Willis Willis. Call bullshit if you want but I really don't think it's in me to look someone in the face and straight up lie esp about a million dollars. Like wow forget John Edwards, Pankaj Joshi wins douche of the year.  Worst part is this Willis guy is only getting something like $300,000 of his stolen money back.

 Yeah $300,000 is a lot of money but he was totally robbed of a lot more and he didn't deserve that. He wanted to use a chunk of the money he won to pay his daughters college tuition.  My husband and I are trying to scrounge money together so I can get my degree and not being able to do that ourselves sucks on an unbelievable level. I cant even begin to imagine what it would be like for a parent to be robbed of the ability to give their kid an amazing education.

I hope karma slaps this horrible person with an wicked case of flaming herpes. Yes I am wishing Pankaj Joshi uses his stolen money on a hooker and she gives him herpes on his penis that will at random and inappropriate times burst into flames. 

P.S. I love that the victims name is Willis Willis

Friday, January 29, 2010

./steps on a soapbox

I love love love Beyoncé's Freakum Dress!

I know I am hella behind. My excuse is I really don't watch a whole lot of t.v. This is  not because I feel I am above television like some gross latfhipster douche; I  seriously just don't have patience for the horrid bad wakki nu nu Appliance Direct commercials Daytona is assaulted with. They are part of my life so I am going to share with you! This one is sans knee brace so I apologize.  Really I couldn't watch videos until I found said offensive bandage without slitting multiple veins...on a nun. 






I love Beyoncé, I've been a fan since my poser raver days when David and I were rolling in the Food Lion parking lot back when Destiny's Child was all new. Wut! Wut! my white ass is down......

Anywho Freakum Dress:






Monday, January 25, 2010

She&Him-In the Sun

First single off the She&Him Vol II album is soo good, I am insanely excited for the release. Btw guest vocals are done by Tilly and the Wall another wicked awesome band.



Team CoCo!

Fuck Jay Leno!